What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 25.06.2025 03:07
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Why do I want to suck cock tonight?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Will India ever surpass China in Technology?
Especially a lifetime of it.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Heart in distress? 9 silent symptoms you shouldn’t overlook - Times of India
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Who then, do I blame.?
Put me off passion for life!!
I was very sick at this time too.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Why did my ex-narcissist move so fast with his new supply marriage engagement moving in, etc.?
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
What is the sluttiest thing your wife has ever done?
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
South Florida-based Silver Airways shuts down, stranding travelers - Sun Sentinel
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Why is Hinduism not polytheistic?
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
When she asked me how she looked .
He was dying to do it , i knew.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
AI Is Coming for Your Job, Much Faster Than Anyone Thought - Decrypt
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I waited trembling.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
A New Study Reveals What Happens When You Drink Coffee Every Day - AOL.com
I think the readers, may guess!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
He knew the spot.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Would this be the day?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
As i do to all so called friends.?
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But, we were locked up after school.
Why did i forgive my father ?
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But ive been too sick for many years..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My family never makes their pension either.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
We all went to grammer schools
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
So, i spoilt her more .
I was 9 years of age.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I write beautiful poetry .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She found it foreign!.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
And i lived it daily.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
This is soul school!.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
On the 31st of Jan this month .
One cannot live in the past .
All the time i was locked up.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
It was going to be , some day.
I have no regrets .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I never cut or harmed myself..
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
So whats the point in blame.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She was in good health!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was seconnd youngest,
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My life is so biszare .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I was scared of men, in general
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I will be 64.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
We were not on the streets..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I said to her
She wouldn,t have been !
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But it wasn’t much.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She married twice! .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I don,t even have a pension.
He resisted the act ,that day.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
She loved him until the end.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I couldn’t, believe it.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
What did i know ?
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Where the ultimate outsiders.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Comes on , in middle age.
Ive learnt so much.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Im still living with it.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!